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Incapable of Seeing Ableism10/26/2021 I was diagnosed with autism in my undergrad career. It was wonderful to be able to understand myself and my needs and do so in a place where I felt safe. But I was sheltered in undergrad, fortunate enough to have a professor open about being ND. I connected with them more than other students did, not realizing why other students didn’t. And now I continue my journey in higher ed, facing extreme ableism from my PI. I want to make it clear that my PI is a genuinely good person, but is incapable of seeing ableism. PI has done a lot of work to support many minorities, but has never included disability in that work. The safe space poster in our lab is wonderful but does not mention disability. I had hoped that if my PI was willing to openly be supportive of many other minority groups, they would also support the disabled community, but I was wrong. One day, after PI pushed a bit too much, I shared my autism diagnosis (thinking I would be safe). My PI took it well enough, but has openly treated me worse in the time since. I try harder to mask at work and pay the price for it, trapped in a cycle of frustration-days where I don’t mask are worse still. I used to work for a disabled PI and I know how wonderful the environment could be, but I don’t know if I could ever be the one to change it. And it shouldn’t be on me alone to champion disability rights in my work environment when it’s not what I’m paid for. These are things that make me consider leaving science altogether. Thank you to the anonymous author for sharing their story.
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